arpao

I have completely missed the 6 week follow-up and I'm terribly sorry! Just don't have enough hours in a day.
This past week has been huge! I felt like I've made so much progress with everything!
Well, first of all, I almost feel no pain. Sometimes I feel pain when I turn in bed too fast. Other than that, I keep forgetting about my surgery... To the point that I once came into my daughter's room and she said: "Mommy, why are you without crutches?" Seriously, why? - thought I...

I can't do sports of course, but I can do all other things that normal person would do when hands and walking are not engaged simultaneously. I take a shower when standing up. I lift my legs up if I need to, say, wash them :) I can sleep in any position I want - side, belly, operated side, and my favorite - on the side with the top leg bent... you name it :) Operated side doesn't really hurt any more when I sleep on it.

Exercise-wise I was given a bunch of exercises that I was trying to do twice a day. I did knee extentions and as they were not challenging enough for me I put 2.5 lbs ancle weight on the leg. Bridges - lifting up with the cotton roll between the knees. Thigh stretch when laying on my belly. Flexing the hip when laying on my back. I added crunches since I wanted to work on my abs. The hardest one for me was putting leg to the side when laying on my back.

I also went on my bike and now I can do for 20 minutes with 1 resistance.

That was for the missed update.

Now, today :)
I had a PT appointment and was really hoping to get rid of one (or both) crutches.
Well, the first thing that PT said is that I have to stay on both crutches... I got really upset :( But she was saying that I have to stay on both crutches until I see dr. Millis again.

Then she checked my flexibility and how I do some of the exercises and said everything was going fine. I kept expressing how sorry I was to stay on the crutches and that I am not seeing dr. Millis for another month and it's really a long time to stay on 2 crutches for me... so she asked me to walk on both. Then she said I wasn't really putting much weight on them, asked to walk with one crutch and said it was the same story. So...
she let me use one crutch!!! I'm so excited! Yay!!!

Of course she said that I have to be careful and still use two crutches when the weather is bad or when I go long distance, but still! At least I can walk from room to room on one crutch and don't feel guilty about that!! And make myself coffee at work :)

And also today I gave myself a pedicure - and felt even more normal :)

I'll try to write about my new exercises next time - my next PT appointment is in 2 weeks, and I see dr. Millis in 2 weeks after that.

2 days ago was my follow-up appointment with Dr. Millis, and also my daughter's appointment with him.
First I want to say that thankfully, Angel is fine. Her dysplasia was treated when she was a baby, and for now Dr. Millis said she is fine. He suggested for her to do another X-ray in 3 years. I am really glad that he is now going to take her as a patient. Phew!

Now me.
Well, I had lots and lots of questions of course.
The first thing Dr. Millis said when he saw me was: "You can put more weight on your leg now". Then he brought me into a room and left me their with my family. Of course the first thing I did was to walk without crutches :) Well it didn't really work out, I was moving, but the operated leg was rather dragging than walking. But walking with one crutch was worse - I couldn't figure out which crutch I was supposed to use so I gave up and just waited.
Dr. Millis checked my strength, incision, X-rays - said that the healing was going well, my strength was fine, everything was basically fine... Yay! I was allowed to put 40% of body weight on the operated leg, and... NO RESTRICTIONS!! So I felt like a person right away :)

Here's the list of all the questions I had and Dr. Millis' answers to them (and also some comments from me):

- My right (operated) leg feels longer than the left one...
- It always does. It will go away. It might be a little longer, but only a little so you shouldn't feel it.

- What's that weird bumpy-looking thingy at the top of my incision?
- That's a stitch that dissolving. It will disappear.

- I had burning in my stomach - could it be from drugs.
- Yes - more likely it's just acid.

- What's the joint pain I've been feeling, similar to pre-op pain?
Dr. Millis asked me to describe the pain, then said that more likely it's normal but I should pay attention to it and update him if it changes or gets worse.

- Back pain...
- Happens, should mention it to PT and exercise back, too.

- Should I do PT?
- No, home exercises only.

- I gained weight...
- Well, I guess you didn't lose your appetite after surgery...
I've actually only gained 4 lbs after PAO, and 5 lbs pre-PAO, I thought I gained more (at least it feels it since I can't put my clothes on anymore). So I'm hoping I'll lose it eventually (I could lose weight lbs after child birth, I think I can handle this).

Then I went to see PT and got a list of hope exercises which I thought were decent. Now I'm looking to buy a stationary bike. Craigslist is silent :( Well, I'll keep looking...

A few more updates.
I was allowed to drive. So of course the first thing I did when I came back from the appointment was driving. Apparently, the hip is not involved in driving (what else new), so I didn't feel any difference from what it was before the op. The next day after my appointment I went to work at the office! And it feels great to be closer to a normal human being!!

I was told NO restrictions in bending and sleeping positions. The restrictions were mostly for my comfort. So I tried sleeping on my belly and it felt great! The left side still pulls - dr. Millis suggested putting more pillows between my legs, this somewhat helps, but still not to the extent of feeling completely fine. I also tried the right (operated) side... And it felt like... well, like I was laying on a bunch of metal screws. Here's a surprise! :)
I also ditched the toilet seat.

I'm getting dressed by myself.

The toughest exercise for me is bringing my operated leg to the side when laying down, and bringing it back (the latter is the harder).

Overall I feel much much better emotionally, I guess I needed that reassurance, and in the end it all is not as bad at all (so far, I know).

Dr. Millis also said that left PAO is "still a possibility", but he didn't talk much about it. Maybe he wants the right one to heal first?


Anyways, I will see PT in 2 weeks for possible evaluation to lose one crutch, and then in another 2 weeks I will see Dr. Millis again.
That's it for now! Good night! :)

And Happy New Year to all the hipsters who are reading my blog!!

So I'm almost at 5 weeks post-op. I can't wait until my appointment next week. I wish I had appointments more often as sometimes I need reassurance that everything is going well. 5 weeks seems so long - so many of hipsters I know had their post-ops earler... Oh well - I knew what I was up to with all the holidays and things like that.

Of course I want to drop the crutches (although I know I'm not ready for it, the gut feeling says I have to stay on them for some more time). I desperately want to drive again. I want to be allowed to bend so that I wouldn't feel guilty when I shave or put my socks on or sit or curl in bed. I want to be able to sleep on my belly. I still can't really sleep on my non-op side - the operated hip hurts. I keep trying and laying on the non-op side for a while, then turning back on my back (the turning itself is not fun). I think yesterday was the first time when I managed to fall asleep on my side and slept for a couple hours. Yay!

The incision heals up nicely, I put a cocoa butter + vitamin E scar serum on it and massage it. Although I know it will get opened again for screw removal, I still want it to disappear.

I am still not using any pain meds, any meds at all in fact. My stomach doesn't like the meds, and I'm not a big med fan anyway. So the med verdict is:
I never filled the prescription for Valium = only took it once while at the hospital.
I was taking Oxicontent in the morning and before bedtime for 5 days after I came back from the hospital.
Oxycodone 5 mg - when I came back from the hospital I was taking 2 pills before bedtime, one every 4 hours during the day. After 2 weeks went back to 3 times a day and one pill at night.
At 3 weeks I stopped them, and stopped Aspirin as well.
So now I am only taking some food supplement with iron and basic vitamin-like stuff :)

I don't like the screws, they are sticking out and bothersome. However, there are times when I forget about my hip issue. One of these times I was so into it that I forgot about the crutches and stepped right on my op leg. Hmmm... The leg is obviously not strong because I went right down and almost fell but kept the balance in the end. I want to be stronger!
I can now do all the home exercises that I was given without help. The exercises are - putting my leg up while bent to 80 degrees; rolling leg 10 degrees in and out and bringing let out to the side and in 10 degrees (this last one is the harderst). I have been also doing abs work since I got... erm... quite a belly.

Which brings me to my next and biggest issue - I am about to remove all the mirrors in the house - I got so big! Gained a couple inches in my waist and hips. I think I was that big last time 6 years ago, right after giving birth to Angel. Needless to say none of my jeans and pants fit. Well, almost none, I had a few pairs that were loose, and now they are tight. Althought they fit, I can't wear them since they bother the screws. Ouch. This is really terrible. How will I lose this if in the prespective (no movement and my mom's cooking) it looks like I will be gaining more. :( Bad, bad.

My biggest wishes now are:
- A power workout. Or a class of step, zumba, dance, or gentle yoga.
- A nice spa pedicure. My toes and feet look like they need some TLC.
- A hot tub with bubbles.

Dreams, dreams...

One little thing. Just a simple relaxing sneeze.
Just a sneeze, nothing more.
But oh how my hip HURT from that!!!
Ouchie. Is it the hip's way to say "bless you"? Not nice.

Not sure if anyone is reading this, but I don't post mostly because nothing is going on with me. Nothing major, anyway.

Yesterday was the first time I went downstairs after the surgery. And then something happened that I had to go back and forth a few times. It was a Christmas night, and we had a problem with furnace so National Grid guy (who was very nice, and even my 6 y.o. daughter said he was cute) had to shut down the heat. So we were without the heat all night. Today my HVAC guy came to try and fix it, and... well, the day after Christmas is not the best day to try and find replacement parts for a furnace, I got to tell you.
So, we will be without heat until Monday... Ouch! Got an electric heater to just survive, but not fun. So, as a result of those events, I was going upstars and downstairs all the time, and although there were a couple moments when I almost fell (I am always in a hurry so I didn't put the crutches in the right place and slipped), I survived and feel OK!

The only meds that I'm taking are 5 mg of Oxycodone before bedtime. And then during the day I don't take anything and it's fine.
The worst thing is my back. I HATE HATE HATE sleeping on my back. So when I wake up, everything hurts, I have to get up a few times at night and just walk around. Not fun.

I'm working now full-time from home. And after that I get really tired, but it's still better than not working.

I also miss people. My mom, my daughter and a few rare visitors is all I see. And it's hard for me, being an extrovert. So instead, I read a lot, but I think I'm at the point now when I'm running out of books, too.

Daydreaming... mostly about dates :) Will I ever be dating again... Or should I wait until Angel goes to college... Sad thoughts.

The saddest thing is that I am getting chubby. Don't know my weight, but I can't put my jeans on, and all the pants are really tight... I bought two dresses and I refuse to change my wardrobe to accomodate my new... well, shape.

No, as soon as they let me, I will kill those inches and forget about them forever.
So I said.

Cheers )))

So I haven't been consistent with my updates which makes me a very inconsistent and boring person I guess :)

The reason for that inconsistency is that I started working at 2 weeks after the surgery, so didn't really have as much time to update :)
Obviously, I am working from home, and it's going pretty well! Before the surgery I've heard different opinions about whether I will be able to start working so soon or not. Dr. Millis of course was saying that I could almost right away, and some nurses and other people were saying that I will be too exhausted and tired to work until about 6 weeks post-op or so.

I'm glad that Dr. Millis' version prooved right.

I am taking less and less drugs, although when I don't take them, the pain is there. But I think when I run out of them, I will not ask for a refill. The pain now is not as bad as it was before the surgery, and I didn't use pain killers back then, so I think I should be fine.
I can lift my leg up to 80 degrees when laying down, so I don't need my mom for that exercise any more. I also cosntantly try to imitate the "driver move", as if I am transferring my leg from pedal to pedal. It's hard to say whether it's working or not - it does seem to me that I can do it fairly quickly but who knows!

I have bought another "surgery buy" - a non-slip bath mat, and it works fine! My bath bottom is very slippery, so having the mat there makes me feel much more comfortable.

I got out of the house 4 times by now. First time my friend took me out to see Christmas lights. It was perfectly fine - I am comfortable crutching on the stairs now, so probably it's time to start going downstairs (where my big screen TV and fireplace is... mmm... and the treadmill... ah).
Then I went to a holiday party, had two dentists appointments, and went grocery shopping in a wheelchair. The latter is terrible! Wheelchair is so heavy, my arms get tired really quickly, and I don't like when my hands touch the cold metal, and it also seems to be always going right instead of straight, so my right arm was particularly sore after that.
People are staring at me of course, and sometimes I get stuck, and I can't wait to get my handicapped parking sign and get rid of the wheelchair and crutches. Can't wait. Can't wait!

My steri-strips all fell off now and the scar looks pretty pretty (well, for a scar anyway). Thin, and half of it blends in with the line between my leg and body when sitting up, so only the top is really visible.

One other little achievement is that I put on tights by myself one day. I bended for it the way I shouldn't bend, but I needed to prove it to myself that I can do it. Don't know why. Just needed it :)

Still have to sleep on my back as the hip hurts every time I try to turn on my side. The back is killing me because of that and I'm wearing a magnetic belt for the back which helps a little during the day.

I haven't been posting for a few days - mostly because I don't have any major news to report. The operated leg is getting stronger I guess, but still not as strong as I would like it to be. Sometimes I would sit and imitate driving - as if I'm transfering it from gas to brake, and the results are less than satisfactory - I can lift that leg up just a little bit, and it feels all so tired after that.

I have adjusted to better shower experience, and here are the few tips that others might find helpful. My shower seat doesn't fit in the tup as a whole, so two of the legs are in the tup and the other two are outside, I'm sitting facing the shower. I do have the "handicapped" attachment - have always had it and don't know how people live without it. I put the liner inside the shower seat and kindof sit on it. I also open the seat cover - and sit like on a toilet, but it's better this way, because the cover itself is too slippery for me. I put shower gel on me and stuff when sitting, but shower when standing up on the non-operated leg. It all results in not so much spills and pretty happy me :) I even shaved my legs =) which feels really good. I have to say that I do stand on my left leg pretty well (or so I think), so I do stuff like brushing my teeth, for example, when standing up.

I'm afraid of two things - putting too much pressure on the operated leg and sitting with a 90 degree corner (my restriction is 80). But I don't feel it so don't know how to control it and I have a gut feeling that if there's no pain it should be OK.

I have reduced my dose of Oxycodone from 5 mg to 10 mg since I got out of the hospital, I only take 10 mg before nighttime, and my Oxycontent is over - I won't be asking for a refill since the pain is manageable (although I do feel it more since I'm off that long-acting drug).

Hate to always sleep on my back - I wake up all stiff during the nights and do physical therapy to move at least a little. Yesterday I tried to turn on my non-op side since Dr. Millis said it's OK if I have a pillow between my knees, but the hip started to hurt so I gave up the attempts. Grrr...

My big toe and the IV hole continue to hurt - but I wish it were the biggest of my troubles...

Also I took of my bandage - have to say, although the steri-strips are still there (most of them), a few fell off, and what is under is a beauty :) One very thin little line, and even now it's hard to see - I know it's not the final scar, but I'm really grateful to Dr. Millis for it, can't wait for steri-strips to fell off and I'm sure I'll love it. Although it is rather long, and it scares me to think that the cut was so big...

One good thing about this whole long two sick weeks was that I caught up with my reading and read quite a lot - not so much at the hospital but almost at 100 pages per day rate when at home - a rare case for me which I don't know when would repeat itself again.

Tomorrow I start working... A little bit for now, but I'm excited to be back as someone who has a purpose in this life, and at the same time afraid to see how much is expecting me, and what a load it would be of both work and emails that I wasn't checking while on leave since I was afraid to get sucked in (I know myself).

So the first week (in the hospital) was hard and I am glad it's over, but overall things are much much better than I thought they would be. Hopefully it will continue this way until my full recovery and return to normal person's life being :)

I am afraid to get out still, but had a few visitors and loved it! I however think I would pass on the corporate Xmas party next week - not ready to show my big bum and tired face to lots of people at once yet... Hopefully it will get better eventually.

Cheers )

Today was the day of my second shower post-surgery and my first shower at home.
Well I was really looking forward to it - my own shampoo, my own shower gel, my own tub and my own smells and everything, all that stuff. But although the shower itself felt really great, the experience wasn't good.

The problem was that my commode (the 3-in-1 toilet seat, shower chair and toilet) is too wide to fit into my tub so that it could face the shower. So we put it in a way where two legs would be in the tub and two other legs outside. And as a result I couldn't put my shower liner all the way in the shower, and being clumsy and limited in movement, I spilled a lot of water onto the shower floor. My mom, being an all-clean-everything-in-place control freak, got all upset and started wiping the shower floor instead of helping me get out of the shower, so I was sitting there, slowly getting cold and mad at myself that I can't do anything to prevent this spill from happening in the future, neither can I help her clean it up. I felt so useless. Just someone taking an unnecessary place in this world, not even being able to take a shower and only causing trouble and extra work for my mom whose legs hurt as well and who also is not in perfect health. Grr :( That kind of got me down for the rest of the day.

Asking my mom to do stuff drives me crazy. And I have to ask her for little things like when I drop something or bring me food or stupid stuff like that. I don't want to ask her. And yet I can't do it myself. Ah :(

Sometimes Angel would do stuff for me, but I think she is being jealous that I am "the sick one" and getting all the care and attention. So today all day she was complaining that she wasn't feeling well - her belly hurt, then her leg, then her head, then her finger, basically every part of her hurt for some time during the day today. She got mad at me when she asked me to put the computer on for her and I said that it was hard for me all the way to the office (after I just came from there) to just do that and that she should do something else instead. Then she got mad that when she asked my mom to bring her something my mom didn't do it right away because she was helping me with some silly stuff that normal people do themselves, like getting my leg out of bed. Then she got mad with no reason, and told me that I love my mom more than her. And it was going on and on all day. Ah... so hard. Sometimes she's really understanding, but sometimes she gets to be what she is supposed to be - a 6 year old princess who likes to get everything her way.

My other two problems are with my toenail on the right foot and my IV. Today the toenail was hurting and when I woke up in the morning it felt like the blanket was really heavy and pushing on it. Something is going on there, and I can't see what it is of course, because it's my operated side, but I suspect it's because my foot is always in one position when I sleep and the blanket is pushing on it. Who knew blankets could be that heavy! Anyway it hurts :(
Also one of my IVs in the left hand was really big (even the nurse was turned off by it, it was like 2 mm in diameter), and now it hurts and feels like there is a clot or something around the hole. It looks weird, I hope it will go away soon.

I looked at myself in the mirror after the shower, and I found that I looked like a fat cow. It was all thighs and thihgs. What can I do about it? Can't exercise, and whatever physical therapy told me to do I have to ask my mom for help. And she gets really tired doing it, and does it too fast, but I feel bad correcting her. I don't eat too much, but just because I'm so inactive it looks like I'm gaining weight. I don't want to diet now while I'm on meds and I don't want to run into any stomach problems, plus diets never worked for me, I can't exercise... Maybe I should walk distances on crutches... Like walk on crutches 15 minutes a day... *Sigh*.

And I was hoping to recover and have this new and amazing life. Yet I am so far from being new and amazing :(

I love being home!
And I love the fact that I'm getting really independent with many things. Of course my mom gets me food and does laundry and washes the dishes, but I don't feel bad about it for some reason :) But I can more or less dress myself (right sock being the exception), I can go to the bathroom using the elevated seat I got from the hospital which pretty much settled there - Angel can move it when she needs to go and then she moves it back when she leaves, I can open and close the door and wash my hands balancing on my left leg pretty well. There were a couple of times when I was about to fall and had to put a little more pressure than allowed on my operated leg, but nothing major.

My bed is really comfortable, and a friend of mine gave me two triangle pillows that I put behind my back so I can kind of sit/lay in bed.
Most of the day today I was sitting - I don't eat in bed, don't read in bed (well I will - I just haven't read today), don't sit in front of my laptop in bed - I go to the dining room or the office to do that stuff, which makes me feel much more like a normal person. I sit with my operated leg in the front and sholders back, so that my leg is not bend 90% as I am not allowed to do that, and I'm pretty comfortable with everything. I probably need to more move, as when I sit or lay for a long time and then stand up the operated leg hurts.

I am taking pain pills (oxycontent and oxycodone), full dose before bedtime, and half a dose all other times, and I am taking Tylenol as well. I haven't even filled out a prescription for Valium yet, and I only took it once in the hospital - I really don't feel like I need it as I don't feel spasms (knock to wood). If I do, I will fill that prescription of course.

I walk around on crutches, and they make my hands bitter :) I've found out when I was eating chicken today and licked my fingers and it was yucky after... I couldn't figure out what it was, and also felt it when flosssing, and then realized it was the crutches. Oh well. They are doing a good job other, and I'm not planning to lick my fingers too too often, so I guess I will just have to live with that :)

A few things I'm really glad I did before surgery:

- Quit smoking. I've been a smoker for 13 years, with a nearly 2 year break for pregnancy-breastfeedng (yes I know - I was bad when I was a teenager), and the last couple years I reduced the amount I smoke from a pack a day to half a pack to one cigarette per day to one per week... (bad economy). And when I found out I needed PAO I just quit. Easy. And I'm not a smoker anymore. And it feels much better, although I have to admit I liked to smoke. Oh well.

- Bought a memory foam matress cover. It makes my bed soooo comfy! I bought the one with different levels of firmness, it was not too expensive and it's really really great!

- Excercised. Well I didn't do it as much as I'd love to (being a working mom of a 6 year old it's a little tough time-wise), but during the summer while Angel was on vacation I went to the gym quite a lot, and it made me stronger. Last three months before surgery it was tough to do any sports - the hip just hurt, but I tried to walk as much as I could and I think it still helped to get my muscles stronger and get on my feet easily (well I think it was easy, although I am not literally on my feet).

My appetite is a concern because I eat as I used to (and with my mom's cooking... maybe even more). And it's so tempting that it's hard to stop - and I want to lose weight, not gain it. I should have lost some weight pre-op but couldn't. I love to eat, what can I do.

Other than that everything is going pretty well and I feel like a useless person sometimes, but then I remind myself that it can be considered a well deserved rest, given the fact that my last vacation was in March of 2008. And I'll be back at work in no time!

I hope I'm not overestimating my capabilities.

:)

My mom is really concerned about me taking the pain pills. She just keeps telling me and telling me every time I want to take them - are you sure? maybe you shouldn't? stuff like that, and it drives me crazy. Before she started being all concerned about it, I tried to take less than prescribed, and tried to manage it on my own, and it was OK. And then she got all involved, so last night I opted out of taking them. Result - woke up from pain at 5 am, had to call for pain meds in order to continue sleeping.
Will not listen to anyone again.

I don't like at all how these meds make me feel. Yes they take the pain away, but I feel so sleepy and drowsy and dizzy - but I know the pain will get better and better with time and I will not need those meds soon.

Going home today!

This is my last pre-op picture - taken the day before surgery in front of my house. Me standing on both legs wearing high hills. For the last time this year.

( Click to see )

Some flowers I got. In the hospital "vase" :)

( Click )

I guess I am confusing everyone with my day count - Day 5 is not 5th day post-op, but 4th day post-op. I counted Day 1 as the day of surgery. So my 4th post-op day was also the second day without the epidural and catheter. I have to say I thought it was a very good day.
I had two PT sessions that day. And the first one I was walking on parallel bars, and I walked three times back and forth which was very good (or at least that's what the therapist said), but I still couldn't move the operated leg at all. So Lori (PT's name) was doing it for me, and it was very very frustrating. This was happening because the muscle that is responsible for moving that leg up was the one that was moved around a lot for the surgery. And so it's really bothered now and weak and sore.

I asked Lori for the exersises that I could do to develop it and she said that it would be just trying to put that leg up, and that's what I was pretty much doing all the time since I came back from that PT session.
When Lori came again and wheeled me to the gym, she said we are going to try crutches instead of parallel bars - I got really scared and was not confident at all that I could do it. But not only did I do it, I also moved my operated leg. All by myself! And I did three sets of parallel bar distance (maybe 3 meters) back and forth on crutches, and then was sitting in the wheelchair with crutches as well. And then we came back and practiced getting into bed from a wheelchair. I was really proud of myself and I did so well I thought. The transitions from bed to bathroom chair and vice versa started to be very smooth, and going to the bathroom was not a challenge anymore, and I wasn't scared to ask the nurse for it. It seemed like such a good day until... the nurses shifted.

Chris, who was simply the best, left, and another nurse came. And don't get me wrong, she was the nicest person, but it seemed like she didn't know how to deal with PAO patients. There were a few nurses that were amazing, and they clearly had PAO patients before... But this new one - tried really hard. My first time I asked to go to the bathroom (and by that time I was already able to move my op leg and could do a lot on my own, just needed help taking this leg out of bed and getting it back in after. I can't move it to more than 10 degrees out, and that is an issue, because I have to move my hips kindof together with the leg, so I have to be synched with the nurse, otherwise the operated leg goes too far out or in and it hurts HURTS! But I got the basics - get up on the healthy leg, pivot, sit and kick the operated leg out. And during that time all I need the nurse for is courtesy and balance. So here I am, feeling confident, get up and the nurse puts her foot between mine, and holds me really tight - as if she is hugging me - a position in which I can't pivot, can't turn the op leg, can't do pretty much anything. And the same was getting out. And it hurt so much because I had to focus on getting around her arms and feet as opposed to getting myself in bed. This got me so discouraged. Going to the bathroom was so hard with her every time, and the hip started to hurt and was hurting ever since, so I'm afraid that something went wrong. :(

Now the nurses changed again and the new nurse is also someone who I don't know, so I'm afraid again. It hurts so much now that I'm afraid to fail PT. I'm afraid to call for the bathroom. I feel really uncomfortable and discouraged, and all my great attitude from yesterday is gone gone gone. What if my hip broke while I was trying to free myself out of this nurse's hugs? Or I put too much pressure in it?

I'm getting Xrays today so I will know.

Now I know how important it is to have a nurse who is responsive, comes right away and puts a little joke here and there, and experienced, and who listens! How discouraging it is to have a great day and end up in lots of pain and fear because the nurse didn't know what to do. Or to have 39.4 fever and have chills and ask for a blanket and wait for 30 minutes until the nurse comes and gets you one. That day I froze so much that my teeth were playing the Moonlit Sonata, and I'm pretty sure that is the reason why I got 10 cold sores the next day. Or when you want to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD (because you are asked to drink a lot), and you can't do it on your own and call a nurse who doesn't come in 30 minutes!

I just want to go home :(

I hope the Xrays and PT will be fine and the new nurse will be better, and today will be better than yesterday.

I didn't even feel like typing. Although I wrote some of what happened on Day 3 in my Day 2 post, a few notes:
- Really hard to keep track of time. Sleeping, reading, writing emails, having people's visits, phone calls, etc. etc. What day is it today? No idea.
- Day 3 Dr. Millis removed my "dressing" and changed the bandage on the incision. It looks beautiful. I really like it. Really. My precious not-so-little scar that will - eventually - make me pain-free. Yay! And I could itch my belly and even put my belly button ring back :)
- Day 4 they removed the epidural and the catheter and put me on pain pills. I like pain pills much better than the epidural! The pain level is the same, but my legs are not numb, so it's much better and I can bend and stretch the healthy leg and move the operated one trying to make is stronger.
- Day 4 I also took a shower. That feeled good but it was soooo hard to adjust the temperature of the water. It could either be too cold or too hot - I needed it to be just right! Jeesh! I'm not goldilocks, but it's not too much to ask.
- Nurse Chris really wanted me to write in my blog that he is amaizing. So there - Chris is amazing. For real :) I'm glad he is my nurse.
- Today is Day 5 and I got to walk on the parallel bars two times back and forth - I can't move the right leg so the PT has to move it for me. That's annoying.
- And talking about pain. With the pain meds and all, it doesn't hurt as much as it did before the surgery. For real. BUT - and there is a big BUT - I can't move my right leg so I can't control the pain and when it gets stuck in a position that hurts I have to scream to whoever is available - MOVE MY LEG... and they scream back - WHERE? - and I say - TO THE RIGHT - NO THE OTHER RIGHT... no fun at all. :( I just hope I'll be able to move it myself soon.

and run the marathon.

whatever.

I might have forgotten something, but if you have any questions, write here.

So day 2 seemed to be a little harder than day 1.
First half of the day I felt OK, even read a little but got tired really quickly so had to take breaks often.
My mom came in the morning, and then right after her came my priest, and later a colleague which was really nice and didn't make me feel so lonely! It is such a great pleasure to know that people are thinking about me and care about me :) I totally didn't expect this, honestly!

Also that day physical therapy came and it was great. Although I tried to move around as much as I can and even managed to lift my hips and back and twirl to itch there as it was getting really sweaty, it was great to get the exercises and start doing them.
My non-op side is still more numb than the operated one, so I can't stretch it or do as much with it as I can with the right leg.

I was not as itchy as on day 1, but my catheter was giving me really hard time. Basically it wasn't draining. I had to call the nurse every time I needed to go to the bathroom, so they would adjust it, and I kept feeling like I was about to explode.

Then Dr. Millis ordered a blood transfusion for me, which made me have a fever. It was 37.4, then 38.4, and then 39.4 and that made me feel terrible. Temperature in my room was probably 85, I had three blankets on and I was freezing. It was really bad. But this morning the temperature got back to normal and right now I'm pretty focused (can type a little - I actually typed this whole thing up with only one little break, whereas yesterday's post took me maybe 5 hours to get done :)

Oh there was one funny thing - I got a call from the wheelchair person and they were asking if I have a preference for a brand. I wasn't sure what to say - does Prada make wheelchairs?
Anyway I'm supposed to get something. Not sure yet what it's going to be.

That's all I can remember :)

So I think I’m feeling a little better and can write more (although I’m drowsy and kind of groggy, so I apologize for the typos in advance).

If you want to send me a postcard within the next 7 days, you can address it to:
Arpine Babloyan
Floor 10 Northwest; unit 1008
Children’s Hospital Boston
300 Longwood Avenue
Boston MA 02115

I’m going to try and recollect the events of yesterday 
Well the worst part was the waiting before the actual surgery. I was really anxious and nervous. The nurse asked some generic questions and gave me the pants and the gown. After some more waiting we were escorted upstairs to the pre-op holding area. There I spoke to the anesthesiologist and a couple of nurses. Dr. Millis came along as well, and was very energetic despite the fact that he lost his voice. And yes I was a mess, but I tried to smile and joke and do stuff like that, but my mom couldn’t hold herself and started crying. That was sad and almost made me cry :(
One of the nurses was asking me all about my legal guardian and wanted to get an interpreter for my mom, and I was really frustrated because nobody told me about it. But then it turned out I didn’t need it because I was over 18. It’s funny that she thought I was under 18 (given that I’m turning 28 in a couple weeks :)) Or maybe she thought I was a really crappy looking teenager and didn’t want to tell me. But regardless it seemed like a compliment to me :)
Then there were hugs, and I was taken to the op room and given the epidural. I didn’t feel a pinch, and I remember talking to the nurses about Thanksgiving and stuff. The anesthesiologist had a really cute hat with pumpkins and scarecrows – here’s another benefit of staying at children.s hospital – it’s fun!!!

Then I got general anesthesia and don’t remember anytning until I woke up.The first thing I saw was a clock showing 1+ o’clock. It was bright. People were around me and I was scared that I woke up in the middle of the surgery (that was one of my fears that I didn’t have time to write about before the op. But they said I was all set! I didn’t feel any pain and I was told I looked good, I wasn’t swollen – I was starving, however, and felt that my throat was sore. The nurses brought in my mom and she told me that she got to talk to Dr. Millis, that she loved him, that he was very happy with how everything went and the surgery only lasted 4 hours. After 20 minutes or so in the recovery room I was transferred to my room. I got private room, which was great  I didn’t really want a roommate ))

Epidural and drugs worked great! I felt no pain at all! I did feel that my throat was sore, and my feet were freezing, so my mom massaged them and I had them covered.
My chop stick was a life savior. The lips got really dry so I had to put it on every 15 minutes or so.

Then I ate some veggies and fruit, I also ordered a grilled cheese sandwich but I didn’t like it so I didn’t eat it.

Then I watched Lie to me and went to sleep. And now I have to go because I’m getting blood transfusion.

I’ll write more when I can.

AB

So I had my RPAO this morning and feel great! Dr. Millis is amazing! The surgery took 4 hours, I got 6 screws. Spent probably 40 mins in the recovery after I woke up and then got transferred to my room. My family just left, I ate a salad and a banana and will probably nap now.

So far so good!

Arpine

There is so much going on in my life other than the upcoming surgery that I simply don't have time to post :( Although I want to say a lot, and I always blog in my head :)

Last Thursday I had my pre-op visit at Children's Hospital, which took forever! I was there at 9-30 in the morning, and was out at about 7 with only a little lunch break but a lot of waiting around, which makes the whole thing even harder to handle.

In the morning I was supposed to go for my second blood donation, but unfortunately my iron was low :( It was 10.9 and the minimum to give blood should be 11. Just one point. I was so disappointed :(

Then there was a visit with the nurse. The nurse was very nice and explained all kinds of things about the hospital stay, and stuff like that.

Then I met with the anesthesiologist who seemed to be a little frustrated with something (maybe with the fact that I was not a child - although it was the Children's hospital), who told me about general anasthesia, epidural and spinal. General anasthesia was the one I wanted. I wasn't a big fan of epidural, and I didn't have it when my daughter was born, although that pain will stay in my memory forever, it was so much worse than I thought it would be. Anyways.

After that I had some blood tests and by that time it was already lunch time. Seems like nothing, but that day I had the same questions asked probably 10 times, my pressure, temperature and weight measured as much, and it was just tiring and exhausting overall. Although the nurse was very nice, I do think that it was not necessarily needed, I could have addressed all the same concerns with Dr. Millis and his team and saved half a day. Oh well, process is process.

By mid-day I was up to the most important part - meeting with Dr. Millis, his assistant Erin and physical therapist Jamie. Dr. Millis was still very nice, caring, and had this great attitude about everything, with humor yet reason. He recommended that I do general anastesia and epidural, and I think I will do that, since I really trust him and don't want to screw anything up (I screwed up enough stuff in my life already). He did say that although my left hip is clearly dysplastic and not perfect (although it's not as bad as the right one), there is hope that it might not require anything and that right PAO will be a test for the left hip to see how it handles it.

I also spoke to dr. Kathy, who offered me to participate in two studies which I agreed to do. I think that if these studies help others, I'm all for it. And knowing that my daughter has dysplasia as well, I'm really thinking that by participating in those studies, I might be helping her. Who knows.

Then Erin (Dr. Millis' assistant) filled out some paperwork for me for RMV and my work, and then I went to do physical therapy.

Argh! This crutch walking is not fun! I think my arms will get really strong after this whole experience, but this time just walking across the corridor made me sore! Ouch! I have really weak arms apparently. The other sad thing is that while on crutches, all the weight was on my left hip and I was feeling it didn't like it. It wasn't necessarily painful, but it was a little... disturbing. Ouch. Please, left hip, don't get worse. Pretty please?

By the way, while waiting for Dr. Millis I met another future patient of his who needed a hip surgery, but a different kind (I don't remember which one). And when I was out, Dr. Millis introduced me to three more women who had done PAOs. One was a young woman who said she felt amazing, one was a girl (like high school age) whose parents said she was out of the hospital in 5 days and all was going well, and the third one didn't really talk to me at all. But it is a great feeling - not just reading on the internet, but seeing that I am actually not the only one going through this. Not like I wish this to anyone, and it would be so much better if dysplasia didn't exist, but... :(

Then Dr. Millis sent me to do some more X-rays and I was done! And I ended up having a terrible headache from all the being nervous and waiting and no fresh air... On my way home I thought I was going to pass out - and I fell asleep right after I came home. Hard day... But overall worth it.

All the following week I was eating burgers and some other unhealthy stuff to get my iron up so that I could donate second pint of blood - and I did it! I came in on Sunday and my iron was 11.7!! So now I have two units of blood, ready for surgery, and not having burgers any time soon!

Sorry for the not creative down-to-the-facts and in-a-hurry post.

Staying positive,
Arpao :)

When I was a little girl, one of my biggest fears was to get an appendicitis.
And not because it was dangerous. And not because it hurt.

Because I was terribly, crazily, very much afraid of the scar on my belly.

Now, I didn't mind a big scar that I had on my leg which I got when I was a teenager and cut my leg when getting out of the pool - I was bleeding all over and didn't want to get stitches or anything because I didn't really care. And now I hate that big ugly scar, but I live with it, and whatever.

When I was going to give birth to my daughter, I had two of the biggest fears about two things. Thing number one was a C-section. Thing number 2 was an episiotomy.

Not because of the concequences and possible complications.

Because I was terribly, crazily, very much afraid of the scars. On my belly. And on the other area.

So I avoided the belly scar, but I ended up getting the other thing, which STILL (!!!) bugs me! Although noone is relaly able to see it. That and the 20 pounds that I'm still trying to lose after Angel was born are - honestly - one of my biggest things I don't like about myself. At least right now.

And now I'm going to have an unavoidable, big, embarrasing scar. And that really bothers me, although I know it shouldn't.
And I know it will be beautiful, and I will love it and be proud of it, and maybe I can put a tatoo over it if I decide to hide it or whatever.

Because the scar pictures that I've seen in the other PAO blogs were amazing, inspiring and something to really be proud of.

But right now I am afraid.
I'm afraid that Angel will be scared of it.
That every time I look in the mirror I will see it and dislike myself.
That noone will ever love me with it.
That people will be asking.
That it will be a turnoff.
And things like that.

And I know it's BS. But that's why I have this blog. To write the BS that bugs me that I don't talk about to my friends.
So there it is, my fear #1.

Although I've created this blog about a month ago, I never wrote anything.
Well, first of all because about a month ago I got pneumonia (as if dysplasia was not enough), and turned my computer only to fulfil my duties as a bill-paying bank-loving citizen, and to let a few friends here and there know that I were alive.

And now I'm almost pneumonia-free, so I'd like to focus on my hips (or at least one of them). And hopefully meet some other people who share my feelings about hips (not necessarily mine, but hips in general).

I'll start with the story of my hips, and we'll go from there. I want to write about my fears, hopes, things that bug me and other stuff that I'm about to face.

I was born with hips, which I guess is a good thing overall. The nurse at the hospital told my mom that I had dysplasia. But later the doctor said that I was fine, so my mom believed the doctor. And when I was 3 months old the dysplasia thing confirmed and I went through treatment and annual checkups and eventually I was fine, or so everybody thought. My annual checkups were over when I was 16.

I considered myself healthy, and was pretty happy with my hips ever since. Well, I did think that they could have been a little thinner and a little tighter maybe, but that was my biggest concern. I even managed to be a semi-professional folk dancer for quite some time.

This year in February, my right hip randomly started to hurt. For some reason it only hurt me when I was at home, so I thought I was going crazy. I was ignoring it, periodically looking for a voodoo doll with a needle in the hip in random drawers - because who knows...
But the voodoo doll was nowhere to be found, and the hip-hurting feeling continued and repeated more often.

Some time about July I had a visit to my PCP, so I mentioned the hip thing. I even told him that it only hurt when I was in my house, leaving the voodoo doll thoughts unexpressed, however. My PCP, who is known to be very attentive to even the silliest patients' concerns, sent me to the orthopeditian.

So there I went.
It was truly nice.
The pictures of beautiful knees and hips made of shiny titanium looked at me from the walls, and I thought they were winking. I didn't like them much, although they looked promising.
I did my X-ray and while waiting for results I sat in the office reading some Better Homes and Gardens-ish magazine.

The doctor came back with not so good news, explaining me how my X-ray is different from the one of a healthy person, and suggesting that surgery would be the method of treatment for me. She also suggested that I go to another doctor who specializes on hip dysplasia. While she was gone to get the contact information of the guru doctor, I left Better Homes and Gardens alone, and took a book called Better Hips and Joints (or something of that nature), which was very entertaining as it had a picture of the hip joint, and a rotating thingy that I could rotate and the joint within the hip would magically change from the healthy one to the sick one to the titanium one and back.
I sat there and tried to imagine myself with the titanium hip inside. My heart really wanted to cry but since I couldn't necessarily realize what exactly to cry about, I didn't.

I was referred to Dr. Millis in Boston.
While waiting for my appointment with Dr. Millis, I googled and binged and yahooed all kinds of variations of hip-related stuff. I decided that more likely what I would need would not be a hip replacement but PAO. I've read multiple PAO blogs and got inspired. I also went to the gym every day, 8 hours a day (my daughter was spending the summer with my parents in Russia so I could do it), to just maximize the use of my hip while it was letting me.

And then I went to Dr. Millis. And PAO was the way to go for me.
I'll write about Dr. Millis next time.